Resilience

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So now we begin again, I’m not sorry to see the back of 2014, its been a trying year for many not just me.

Resilience is the ability to overcome challenges, to fall, down but get back up again, to keep moving and learning from our mistakes.

I’ve touched and been touched by countless young people, who inspire me to be thankful, to stay strong even when it seems people are against you. I’ve learnt to listen more to my children, to receive their feedback and reflect on how I can be a better parent to them. This is not understood by a lot of people who see the youth as people ‘to be seen but not heard’. I want to hear from the youth more, I want to learn from their energy and perspective because we are living in very different times with challenges that humanity has not faced before.

In the Bible it states ‘that wisdom shall come from the mouth of babes’. I humble myself to the youth because they are the future adults and honestly I want them to be better than we are. Yes, I have experience which I think can contribute to widening their perspectives because youth can be self absorbed, misled and opinionated but ultimately my mission is to assist them in creating their own lives and not project what I think is right for them. This is tough because as a parent I want to be in control. To tell them what to do, to make them obedient to my will. No matter how many times you tell an adolescent not to do something, they do it anyway. They are testing the boundaries and creating their own, because that is how we learn.

2014 has been a lesson for me because I have begun the process of letting go. Of saying what needs to be said but allowing the young person to make the mistake in the hope that I have informed their ability to think and reflect thus, learn from the event.

I’m learning its all about clear non violent communication. If I want the world to be different then I have to speak differently. I have to listen more, judge less, but show them loving kindness and understanding. I think if my mother had done that for me I would not have made the mistakes I made in relationships and the choices I made in my life. but then again maybe not. Maybe the mistakes and the challenges are what have made me who I am today.

As a junior elder I want to reassess my role in community. To not be so concerned with the opinions of others, but to stay true and authentic to myself.

A quote I read the other day said ‘Its not about your name its about what you do with your life that determines whether your name will be remembered’.

Its been a year since my mothers passing and even though she was not famous or rich she left a legacy of listening and laughter,

I too want to laugh more in 2015, and I want my laughter to reach my eyes.

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